Vesper's Death and Her Racing Mind
by Rosewood of Brazil
Summary: That fateful morning in Venice . . . Vesper's racing mind during those few minutes in the metal elevator. Her thoughts on James and her guilt. This is what guilt can do to you. Rubbish summary, good story. Honest. K to T. Minor language. ONESHOT


**This is just a oneshot of what I think Vesper was thinking when she was in the elevator cage and she drowned. Just trying to gain writing experience.**

**Little bit of language, nothing extreme.**

**I looked all over the net for Vesper's boyfriend, and it turns out his name is Yusef Kabira...there's something I didn't know.**

**I'd appreciate all feedback, good and bad!**

**Disclaimer: James Bond is unfortunately . . . not mine. :(**

**Enjoy!**

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Bullets were flying all around, nearly all of them aimed at the man with whom I was in love, who was foolishly trying to rescue me.

I knew I was going to my death by handing over the money. And by doing so I knew it would save my past love Yusef, but I chose not to save him out of devotion, but because of the fact that we shared so many memories together, and I couldn't just let the man, who had made me happy for so long, die. Although I had a strong unsettling suspicion that he was already dead, so if he could not be saved, I would be ecstatic if James could survive.

Although going by the way he was acting, he was either deliberately trying to piss me off—unlikely I have to admit—or some higher power was giving me punishment for my deceiving. Or it could just be a sadistic bastard who was trying to kill anyone who got in his way.

I cried out as the metal elevator I was being held in shuddered; I was now a foot closer to the water below which should be a comfort seeing as it would be a lot less painful to drown when compared to several bullets hitting my extremities and their corresponding arteries.

I suddenly found myself face to face with my love, his arctic blue eyes boring into me, spreading the guilt further around my body as he urgently fumbled with the lock.

My lip trembled. "I'm sorry James."

I twisted the key in its lock.

James began to pull harder of the lock, trying to break it with brute force, but to no avail. I didn't wish for him to save me, the guilt would be too much to bear if I had to look at his perfectly crafted face for the rest of my life and realize how horrendous my actions had been.

Whatever supports had been holding the lift up finally gave way and the metal plummeted towards the Venetian water. The cold water wrapped around me like a blanket that had been removed from ice, sending shivers down my spine.

I saw the fair haired man dive into the water, breaking through the layer of bubbles, swimming swiftly towards what would be the small box I would die in.

In no time at all his well built muscles propelled him towards me, his arms that I had once clung on rattling the doors in desperation.

I floated in the furthest corner of the cage, taking in his angelic yet devil face for one more time in this life.

I could hear urgent gurgles coming from his perfectly pouted mouth that I had kissed so many times as he tried to force open the door.

He forced his hand in-between the bars, trying to turn the key and open the door the old fashioned way but I placed mine on top, savouring the last touch I would ever receive from him. I prised his fingers away, nuzzling my cheek into his open palm.

I could feel his curious eyes on me, no doubt wondering why I had not tried to preserve my life that was now marred with shame.

I kissed his hand, soft lips to soft skin. My tears were not obvious in the water but nevertheless, they still conjured up the same hot feeling in my face as if you were blushing.

I took one last look at his eyes, brown to blue and inhaled the oddly clear water.

The force of the water entering my lungs forced me into the back of the elevator. I let out a near silent scream as I felt my back shudder against the metal, knocking what little air was left in me out.

Masses of bubbles escaped his mouth as he tried to shout at me, his pleas drowned out by the water. He pulled on the bars more violently than ever, trying to free me for God knows what reason.

I continued to breathe the water, the feeling was so foreign. It was painful in a way, the water stung my nose as it travelled down to my lungs, clogging them up. The pressure began to build in my chest as I steadily found that it was becoming increasingly hard to 'breathe' in and out.

I stretched out a hand to James, mouthing the word 'No' over and over again. Whatever possessed him to try and save me I couldn't understand, but I didn't want his forgiveness. I didn't deserve it.

He continued to bang on the bars, trying to wrench it open. I felt a fogginess cloud my brain, a darkness creeping over my eyes. I felt cold. So cold. I couldn't feel my outstretched arm anymore, all that was keeping it elevated was the water now.

As the darkness overwhelmed me I could've sworn I saw his muscled leg kick open the door, still trying to save me even though it was too late.

In my last couple of seconds, I wondered what he would do now. I knew that the stupid, belligerent, handsome, loving man would not leave me. I imagined he would probably drag my body from my death cell and pull me to the surface amongst the wreckage. Then probably the routine CPR after that.

I knew he would miss me, and I would him.

But nothing would pain me more than knowing I betrayed the one man I could count on.

The man who trusted me even though it was the biggest risk he could ever take.

It didn't pay off.


End file.
